Tuesday, April 17, 2012

AtoZ/Day 17 - letter O

O is for OBVIOUSLY....
Obviously, pig's feet were not now, nor ever, meant to be pickled.

Obviously, women have digestion tracks, too, and as such...we FART.

Obviously, the Keurig Coffee Maker is the best invention of the 21st century.

Obviously, the abbreviation 'LOL' has transmutated from meaning "laugh out loud" to becoming the technological equivalent of a nervous tic.

Obviously, if I was stranded on a deserted island, the last thing on my mind would be my top five favorite albums of all time, because I would -obviously- be consumed with whittling a canoe out of a palm tree.

Obviously, society owes the consistent proper spelling of "bananas" to Gwen Stafani, and "bologna" to the ingenious marketing skills of Oscar Mayer.

Obviously, pantie-lines are inexcusable.  And quite frankly, offensive.  C'mon ladies.  If you don't want to free-flap it, then try a thong for a couple of weeks (not the same pair, obviously; You'll want to change them daily as with any other genital related undergarment); you will get used to it and eventually, anything else will just feel unnatural.


Obviously, cheese is God's greatest gift to human kind. 

Obviously, "10 items allowed" in the express checkout lane really means between 20 and 25 items.

Obviously, "your mama" jokes will never stop being funny...to me.

Obviously -and I have discussed this at length in FB statuses- Humpty was pushed.  He did not "fall."  He did not jump.  He did not slip.  He was pushed as a warning-statement to all eggs: if you are not fried, hard-boiled, poached, or scrambled, you should not be sitting on a wall.  Duh.

Obviously, Santa really has some major qualm with adults, and it isn't fair, and I resent it.

Obviously, there is so much more that is obvious, but it is almost 9 PM, and I have yet to eat dinner. 

So, I'm gonna sign off for now, but will likely lay awake tonight counting the "obvious" like sheep and will, therefore, probably amend this obviously epic blog as time goes by.  WHICH reminds me: obviously, old Father Time -with his long, flowing white beard and his arthritic hands wrapped around his famously depicted walking stick- has either discovered the medicinal value of Viagra as a sure-fire source to put some pep in his decrepit ass step, OR the mo-fo is now sporting a motorized wheel chair, because for an old f*cker, he sure is moving swiftly along these days.  Obviously.


  1. Clever, witty, and well painted picture you've written here, obviously.

  2. Obviously you are awesome. You crack me up.

    I love cheese too, best thing ever!!!

    I can't imagine why anyone would eat pigs feet. Bleck.

    And that fart line made me laugh hard. I used to tease my husband that girls don't fart, twelve and a half years later...yeah, sorry, I was way wrong. LOL (giggle)

  3. I would sell a vital body part for a good piece of cheese. I once was in a fancy cheese store and looking at the cheese case said to the cheesedoodle man, "I just want to get inside that case, roll around in the cheese then lick it off myself." The guy said, "And I want to film it." Another customer complained and the poor guy got fired. The price one pays to be a cheesetologist!

    Are you on FB, twitter, etc? I cunt get enough of you.

  4. I so wish I knew you were writing this. We could've made this this longest blog in history. Love it!!!