Saturday, November 3, 2012

Ingredient 21 - Wanting

Next ingredient:  Wanting.  Right.  Let us get started, then...

Rather than launching into a pseudo-philosophical rant about the nature of "wanting," I have decided instead to write a post about things I want.  Feel free to gift any of the following.  I am not one of those people that pretend not to want gifts.  Presents are awesome!!

My wantings:

1. To be able to take a big honkin' crap.  Seriously, my bowels haven't properly moved in over a month, and I am walking around with a brick in my ass.  I need to drop an entire Cosby reunion off at the pool, if you catch my drift.  (Two days after writing this: wish granted.  Who knew all I had to do was blog about it to a very small fraction of the world?)

2.  I want world peace, but I cannot buy into the idealism that presents this as any sort of possibility.  The human rate of evolution is far behind such lofty goals.  It is what it is.

3.  I want Time to slow the hell down!  I always see depictions of Father Time as an old crusty man, but this cannot be accurate.  In my mind, he is a rude and impatient intruder just pushing us along, wanting to cut in line.

4.  I want to be able to eat what ever I wish when ever I wish and maintain the body I had when I was shopping - as an adult (a crazy SEXY adult) - in the little girl's department 10 years ago.  I really think I MIGHT wish for this before wishing for complete financial security...or world peace.  That's right: I'm doing something for MYSELF for once, so suck it.

5.  I want financial security...and not the type that gets the bills paid with nothing remaining.  I want to be able to buy that special something that makes me think of my best friend when I see it, or even for my neighbor to whom I hardly speak, without having to go over numbers in my checkbook only to find that it's not possible b/c I have groceries to buy and just enough with which to buy them.  I want to be able to take awesome vacations with my loved ones.  I want to be able to buy my son and my nieces and nephews new, safe cars or trucks to drive; I want to be able to pay my mother-in-law's house off, and pay for all the renovations she wants done; I want to be able to write checks of huge dividends to St. Jude's Hospital for Children every quarter; I want to be able to pay my best friend's school loans and credit cards off, and I want to build the beautiful house for which we have planned almost every detail right down to the awesome and HUGE zen garden.

6.  I want pharmacy keys.

7.  I want people to stop being blindly lead and encouraged to keep and create further division between us.  Let's let go of the envy, the class warfare, the racial and religious labeling.  THAT'S what I want.

8.  I want my alpha dog to stop eating his retarded brother's dookie.  I want to never see him walk out of a room with what looks to be a cigar hanging from his lips (and yes: the retard still poops in the house when he is upset about something or feels he isn't getting enough attention, which means ALL of the attention, leaving none for his shit-eating brother.  He's autistic).

9.  I want this country to return to the blueprint our fore-fathers laid out for us.

10.  I want TOOL to make another fucking record...for the love of god!!!  I NEED it.  That should be enough incentive for them.

11.  I want some more old typewriters to add to my collection.

12.  I want my husband's middle-of-the-night ass blastations to not stink or burn my thigh when he turns over and points that thing at me.

13.  I want a re-do on about four things I've said or done in my 36 years.

14.  I want to get my novel(s) written.

15.  I want to get my novel(s) published by a real publisher and not some ebook publisher.

16.  I want to time-travel at my own discretion and direction.

17.  I want to not feel hostile toward people that I think have good hearts, yet I question what I really know about them when their actions paint them as complete hypocrites and biased thinkers...this makes it easier for the hostility to abound.

18.  I want the world to recognize that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS REVERSE RACISM and to use this term is, indeed, racist.  Also, giving praise and respect to ANYBODY b/c of their skin color is every bit as racist as NOT respecting someone for their skin color.  Either way, character is being overlooked b/c of race. 

19.  And finally, I want - and am going to make a conscious effort, daily - to just be me, quirks and all; talents and all; gifts and all (even if some of said Gifts may be considered by some to be unconventional, i will no longer block ANY message given in and of Love & Light out of fear for what others may think about it).  I am what I am supposed to be.  I am exactly WHO I am supposed to be.  I am no longer going to fight the Title assigned to me, b/c this does not make me humble; it makes me ignorant and consumed by everything that does not matter.

20.  Oh yeah...and I want presents.



  1. Oh man, this list made me really laugh. Loved the one about your dogs!! Good job, def needed a laugh tonight!

  2. I knew you were my kind of gal after I read #1. I pretty much want the same things out of life you do--even for my dog to stop eating crap, including his own. You are a HULarious and very talented writer--saw you on my GFC and then realized you are a fan of Gwen's over at Pull My Funnybone (love her awesomeness)--I knew I had to check you out. Thanks for sharing--just joined your GFC because I need to read more if your stuff! I'll be back.... perhaps with a glass of wine next time.

    1. Just added you to my blog roll as well--nice way to keep up with you!

    2. thanks for stopping by Meno-mama! I'm honored to have you hanging out in my blogdom as I am a fan of your work. i look forward to getting to know you and your blog better. I've really been quite the slacker lately with my blogging, but that is going to change...unless it doesn't. :) J/k. I am hellbent on keeping the promise I made to myself to at least get through the "list" that inspired my blogging in the first place. Of course, I also made a promise to myself that I am never to break a promise, ever, unless I make it to myself.

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